This time I died from a brain explosion…
Y’know, we’re supposed to die every day, and stuff.
Part of this year is planned out, and part of it seems cloudy at best. At first my brain went a bit haywire with that idea. How am I supposed to move if I don’t know what is supposed to happen! You will usually find me questioning, searching, adapting, growing, learning, laughing when I do stuff wrong, and sometimes really hung up on doing everything the exact way it was “supposed” to be done. I even do this despite God telling me that all He asked of me was to rest in his promises and build my faith and trust. Clearly I am misinterpreting what He is saying to me. Clearly I am striving to know anyway. Always inquisitive, I love asking questions more than pastors like to quote the Bible. God loves that about me, truly, I know this, however He also loves surprising me with His massive and mysterious love story. You can see where the massive head-on brain collision is inevitable, can’t you? It’s really a miracle of grand proportions. One of those miracles that isn’t as obvious to the naked eye.
I am in Gainesville, GA this week. I said that I would like to spend my breaks serving and so here I sit. I am here to make name tags and powerpoints, etc. However, that is just my understanding of it, in a logistical sense. Clearly God exploded my brain at just the right time.
…That’s what I saved as a draft on Monday. It is now Friday and I’ve been here a week. If my brain exploded before Monday then I don’t know what to call this. I think all the pieces are vibrating in the dirt and dying off of me. Gross? Maybe. Messy? Yea. I’m here for more than powerpoints. In asking God, He said, “You know you didn’t plan this. Receive the blessings.”
Where there was striving there is now peace. Where there is death there is renewal springing up.
There’s a creation process occurring here. Re-creation. In this, though this may seem like a mismatched thought, I am reminded of my Creator’s gift to me of creation through art. Shake off the dust of the spirit of fear, it has left you now. Go and be free to create as if you were made for that, because it’s part of you and it’s loosed now. Don’t contain it. Express it. Profess it.
The miracle of life and creation is in my hands.